The Bread God Has Given

Lord,

If anyone had a right to complain, it was (and still is) the Israelites. Your chosen people that were left wandering around the desert for 40 years in Exodus. God, I don't understand. But, I pray that you can help me to be ok with not understanding. Especially with my limited brain and ability to understand. I don't understand why tragedies happen. Why good people die, and immoral people seem to thrive. I don't understand the world and all of the hatred in it. I don't understand myself most of the time. And I definitely don't understand why you didn't save Alex. 

But you are still there.

I struggle to understand You.

And your ways.

What the Bible says sometimes sounds like it's written about an old God, and one that I don't personally know. Or a God that doesn't quite fit with the world today.

I pray that you would help me to read more of your word. Help me to see how your word was then just as it is alive today. Help me to understand your word and scriptures. Help me not to doubt. Help me to trust you. Help me not to second guess all of the blessing and goodness you've provided in my life and in others around me. Lord, help me not to complain, but to notice the goodness around me.

You provided manna from heaven to the Israelites. Something brand new and unexpected, and something completely fulfilling. Lord I want to believe that you will provide manna (and may have already provided it) for my life, and I am just unaware. Help me to notice the bread that you have given and to feel your "enoughness".

 

Good Morning

Good morning God.

Yesterday was wonderful. As I was vacuuming last night and Chase was giving Sam a bath, I really just thought about how I have so much to be thankful for. And yesterday was one of those blessed days. Church went well. The message was so applicable to me and is something that I definitely struggle with. I'm so thankful for our pastor and that you have called him and equipped him to lead us at this time. Transit Test Drive was a huge success and I am so excited to have new students coming up that I get to guide and lead in the development of their own faith. I pray that you would help me and my volunteers just remember the impact that we can have. Help us to reach out and understand the ripples that we can make just by showing up and being there for a student. Lord, please continue to send us amazing volunteers who love our students and want to pour into our students.

I pray that I can remember how nice our family walk was and use that to help me through today with all of the kiddos. God, please help me to remember that each child I watch is a child of yours. You have called them to you and when I take care of a child, I am taking care of you. Help me to treat each child with respect and love. Help me to be gentle, have self control, be slow to anger, and quick to listen. Help me to respond and not react. Lord, please help my anger to subside. Let my hands always be gentle and caring.

Thank you for all you have blessed me with. You are so amazing. Lord, help me to remember your goodness throughout my day and throughout whatever comes our way in life. I just want to be in your presence and for you to look at me and say "Good work, my faithful servant." 

Begin.

God,

It's been a while since I've truly talked to you. I know so much about you that I'm able to talk like I know you without really knowing you. Like we do with celebrities. We talk about all of their favorite things, accomplishments they've had, what they like, what they don't, yet most of us never even meet them. Lord, you have called me child, and friend. You aren't an aloof celebrity, you are someone we can really know...if we seek you.

Forgive me for not seeking you like I should. Help me to seek you. To want to know you. To crave you and time spent with you. Lord, I have had it proven time and time again that nothing brings happiness and joy, but you. I can choose to look at my circumstances and my life and try to choose joy, but if that joy doesn't involve you, it's just a cheap substitute. It doesn't matter what my life looks like on the inside or the outside if it doesn't have you at its center and its focus. Lord, help me to focus my life on you. Give me strength to get up each morning and live my life with intention. Help me to think about my actions, take captive my thoughts, and question whether my desires are something that would bring you joy.

I'm reminded of the story of the prodigal son and the celebration that his father threw when he came back to him. His father didn't stare at him from afar and utter harsh and bitter remarks under his breath, he ran to him. He met him where he was and celebrated his return to him. When I think of returning to God and how I've wasted precious time on my own self, I am filled with guilt, shame, and regret. But God isn't. He isn't filled with disgust for me. He is happy to see me. Glad of my return. He meets with me where I am and gives me the best robe for I am His child. Even when I am not deserving (which, let's be honest, is all of the time), he loves me.

What grace. I can't even fathom his grace and love for me. For us.

God, I thank you for your grace. Thank you for loving me while I was a sinner and for welcoming me home with open arms. I pray that you would help me to do better in the future. To ignore my flesh and to run to you. Help my desires to be of those things that would bring you joy and pleasure. Thins that are of you and not of this world. You are so worthy.